All Things Toddler: the poop.

So, I need some advice: potty training. M will be 4 a few days before Christmas, and he has been peeing like a champ on the potty for quite some time now. Pooping, however, is another story. When I say M being petrified to poop on the potty, is not an exaggeration. We have tried EVERYTHING as positive reinforcement (including the best bribes ever) which haven’t worked. We got this super cool toy and explained to him he could have it if he pooped on the potty. Eventually he told us to just take it back to the store šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

We have had a few conversations with the pediatrician, and his main concern is that he doesn’t hold it in and says “he will start using the potty when he’s ready”. The last part of that statement worked at 3 but he’s now going to be 4. My hubby and I are super frustrated and we have even made M sit on the potty, literally, for 2 hours a few times hoping he will FINALLY do it. That kid will hold it in and have a meltdown for2 hours and we end up giving in because he just has to do it, so we give him the pull-up.

I have tried asking him why he’s afraid, and he will say “just because, mommy”. I’ve asked him what he’s “thinking” when he tries to poop on the potty, but he doesn’t understand what that means. So, we are flying blind because we actually don’t know why he’s so afraid. We have the baby potty in our bathroom too, and have offered that instead of the big potty, and he will not sit on it.

I explained to him last night that, starting today, he will no longer have pull-ups and he will be wearing big boy underwear all the time. I asked him where big boys go potty, and he said “in the potty”. He completely understands what he needs to do, but the actual act causes a HUGE meltdown and ends us completely frustrated.

I was in therapy last night, and my therapist thinks maybe him being embarrassed at school will finally give him the motivation to use the potty. I hate the thought of M going through that, but we really have done everything we can to get him to go on the potty, and he just won’t. He has no problem pooping in his underwear either. So, maybe the social aspect may do it? The thought of it just makes me sad and I want to be mama bear and protect him from that. šŸ˜ž

Any thoughts or suggestions?

*Edit: we have tried the fully naked thing but he FREAKS out and won’t leave upstairs without clothes on šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

Also, my hubby tricked him one time and cut a hole in the diaper, which M didn’t realize until after he pooped on the potty. We praised him HIGHLY and was hoping that would get him over his fear. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and now we can’t trick him like that again. We’ve tried…

3 thoughts on “All Things Toddler: the poop.

  1. You know another blogger wrote about the same issue recently–her nearly 4yr old girl won’t poop in the potty for anything, and can’t articulate why. I wish I had advice, but surely there are experts out there with methods?? XOXO

  2. My parents had this exact same problem with one of my sisters. They bought her a porcelain tea set that she wanted as a bribe but it didn’t work. It sounds like you guys have tried the same things they did, such as having him sit on the toilet while wearing a diaper. I honestly don’t know how the situation ever resolved but I know she was 4+ years old when she finally started pooping on the toilet. And she was diaper free for quite some time before that except for asking for a diaper to poop. I’m sorry that I have no advise to offer here. I think your therapist might be right and maybe peer pressure will finally make M decide the toilet is a good place to go.

  3. I like the book “How to talk so little kids will listen”. It has a few examples of Potty training in it that might help. Good luck! Potty training sounds incredibly frustrating.

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