Here’s the deal: this has been a MAJOR roadblock in my marriage. This has been hanging over us and our household for months and it’s just a roadblock that just doesn’t seem to go away. I’ve asked my husband to think about a vasectomy for these reasons:
1. I have done enough to my body with fertility drugs, treatments, laparoscopic surgery to rule out endometriosis, egg retrieval during IVF, etc.
2. I’ve done enough with pregnancy and labor.
3. I’ve put my body through enough with hormone injections and years of birth control pills.
4. For the argument of it shouldn’t be 100% the woman’s responsibility 100% off the time.
Now, 1-2 my husband couldn’t do anything about it. We both wanted children, and it was a sacrifice I KNEW I had to make if we ever would have a family. I can tell you IVF and Frozen Embryo Transfer protocols scared the daylights out of me, and I spent many, many tears over the decision. What would it be doing to my body, long-term? What would I be doing to my body, if in the end, it didn’t work? I hated I had to make the decision, but it was the sacrifice I felt it was worth to have a family. And, it frankly was the cards I was dealt. My husband couldn’t step in for me and make the sacrifice to take fertility injections; it HAD to be me.
So, now in the present: we are talking about permanent birth control and he can NOW stand up and decide to take this away from me. He can make a sacrifice to his body so I don’t have to go through another procedure and more risk. And yet, he’s made no decision. Well, really making no decision IS his decision.
After being scared of getting pregnant this past week, I’ve decided I’m moving forward with getting my tubes done. I will be waiting for my husband FOREVER, because if he doesn’t want to do something, he won’t ever do it. Which sucks and pisses me off because I shouldn’t have to make this sacrifice. But, being pregnant and having another baby would be more of a sacrifice. I’m doing this for ME and not for him.
I haven’t told him my decision yet for 2 reasons. 1: I feel like it’s going to start a fight because he hasn’t stepped up to making a decision. And 2: selfishly, it’s going to piss me off to see the relief in his eyes that he doesn’t have to get his man parts snipped.
Update: him and I had a talk and that’s for a different post.. I’m still going to move forward with a tubal.